How Being Vulnerable Makes You A Better Spouse
I'll be the first to admit that it can be scary to open up the doors of communication with your spouse at times. Especially, if this is a new habit for you. But, just as new habits are scary at first; we both know that the more you stick to it over time the easier it gets.
Being vulnerable isn't easy, especially if it is one of those new habits. We are often taught that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness and that we shouldn't expose ourselves this way for fear of being hurt and taken advantage of. Or, perhaps that females use their vulnerability as a lure to getting what they want, and males...forget it! They'd be ridiculed if they showed even the tiniest form of emotion or vulnerability.
Sad, isn't it?
When we hold our emotions in they not only effect our relationships but ourselves as well. Holding onto and swallowing feelings and emotions, words unsaid, cause dis-ease in our bodies. We literally begin to manifest physical pain and ailments by holding onto this toxic energy.
So how do you begin?
You start to speak your truth. You need to open up the communication lines with your spouse and begin to share what is important to you, what your values are, and what has been bothering you. It might be scary, new things that are foreign tend to be. But, getting things off of your chest and out of your heart WILL strengthen your relationship. Your spouse is not a mind reader, so assuming that they know everything that's going on is just setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment.
By taking the first step in doing this, you've made the first move. Let them know after speaking with them that how long you've been holding onto this, and how much better you feel after releasing this and getting of off your chest. And, most importantly, let them know how it is important for you to continue this dialogue, to continue having conversations with one another about how you're both feeling. That you don't want to hold it in and then lash out later on because of it.
And, as a confidence booster for you to go out there and be vulnerable with your spouse, here are 5 reasons that being vulnerable will strengthen your relationship:
(1) Brings you closer- Opening up the conversations lets both of you know what is going on in the other's head and how they are feeling, which could explain their recent actions.
(2) Learn more about the other- This very well may be the first time you've shared whats going on and how you're feeling. Your spouse could be learning and hearing this for the first time, and this information will be very helpful for them.
(3) Become more understanding- It beings to make sense and the pieces of the puzzle come together when you know how they feel and that this is the way that they have been acting because of holding said feelings in.
(4) Feel lighter and happier- Dude, it just feels GOOD to get that shit off of your chest that you've been holding onto for god knows how long! Which leads to...
(5) Have better sex- No brainer, you feel better and more connected so you'll have a hotter sex life. Win win!